there are times when you feel like you need to cry, but you don’t want to because you see it as a sign of weakness when you cry because you’re meant to be the strong one for everyone else.
Anyone else feel this way or is it just me? :(
“Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”
Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about what I would do if I had the chance to start again, a fresh slate, a new beginning, and then it dawned upon me that 2014 is going to be the year where this is possible.
So hopefully this year I will be going off the uni in a new town, a new city where no one knows me; who I am, my background, my story or even my name, and I’m weighing up the pros and cons. Firstly it means that I can get away from all of the stresses and problems that have arisen over the years I’ve been stuck in the same place, and while I know that moving away will create new stresses (maybe even more than I currently have) but as with all of this, they too will be new, something I have never faced before it will be something that will help me move forward.
Then there’s the big issue of meeting new people, while for some people meeting new people is a daunting task, yet for me, I feel that it would be something that I’d really enjoy, making new friends and of course new enemies but that’s all part of growing up! Isn’t it? This too will present problems and food for thought. What if nothing changes, what if I fall into the same ‘crowd’ of people then is it really a new start or is it just a remake; same story different characters. What if I don’t make any new friends? What do you do then, you’ve moved away from anyone you were close too and now your alone with no one to talk to about it!
Something else that needs to be considers, is do I really want to leave everyone behind. I made that mistake once before when I made the choice to move from 6th form to college, everyone I used to be close to just stop talking to me as if I was in the wrong, I felt like a traitor and to be honest maybe I was. I don’t know if I want to go through that again, I’ve got some great friends, but nothing like I used to have. Also my family, now while my family have stood by me in every decision I’ve made they’ve never been more than an hour away, whereas if I was to go they would be be a good few hours away and less likely to be able to help me. Not only is there that, but I do like having the comfort knowing I have the support behind me of a very close family but moving away, would that support weaken?
So that’s the dilemma, moving away and starting fresh, seems at face value so tempting because everything here is the same day after day. I’m stuck on what to do!